Usuario:JennySmithers

Build solidarity, rather than just presume you get a pass if you're a part of a marginalized community. Saying something like "I'm gay, so I automatically know what experiencing racism feels like"ignores the fact that you don't share that same experience and may not be acting as an ally in your activist communities. Solidarity doesn't come from simply being oppressed, it's something you have to actively engage in..

I take so many cues from whoever I'm sleeping with, not because I "have" to or because it's part of our kinky play, but because I enjoy getting to know them and building on what's come before. Ultimately, the answer to this column's title query is one that is always evolving. In many ways, contemplating the answer is hot in and of itself, as is the process of figuring out where my answers might fit with someone else's.

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